Voice of Unreason: No, I’ve Never Seen The Godfather

I’ve never seen The Godfather. I know you’re currently thinking (in a voice several octaves higher than your own and with infinitely more exclamation points and question marks), “You’ve never seen The Godfather?!”, but no, I haven’t. In fact, the only desire I have to see the movie stems from my interest in avoiding the scary voice of condemnation and eventual shunning that ensues whenever I come clean. Perhaps I’ll end up seeing it one day, but maybe I’ll just toss out a random quote here and there so you’ll believe I have and stop yelling at me.

I understand and accept the judgment, as I am prone to dishing out the same high-pitched squeal of disapproval when my friends say ridiculous things – like when my best friend, Shannon, saw The Goonies for the first time at thirty and said it was overrated. My exaggerated cry was passionate but well-founded, “You didn’t like The Goonies?!” I assume she was just trying to play it cool so we didn’t have to fight over who would get to add the handsomely sweat-banded Josh Brolin to our “list.”

No matter how much you attempt to elude it, the voice of crazed incomprehension jumps from person to person like Sam Beckett in a USA Quantum Leap marathon. The “You’ve never been to Disneyland?!”s and the “You’ve never eaten lobster?!”s and the “How do you not like chocolate?!”s (that one was also me) taunt everyone in ear shot. Even worse are when the accusations are as irrational as the piercing bellow accompanying them. The other day I was on the receiving end of an “I can’t believe you like Cadbury Cream Eggs!” Such comments are simply unconscionable.

We all have voids of experience or knowledge that shock and appall those around us to the point where a simple oddity spirals into a source of overenthusiastic cries of foul. While I understand it might be considered absurd that I’ve never made coffee, or mown a lawn, or (if you’re my grandma) never used the phrase “cat’s pajamas,” I consider you equally peculiar for not liking seafood, or for not knowing all the words to Raspberry Beret, or for not thinking John Cusack is the cat’s pajamas. So be prepared for my voice of unreason should you bother telling me so.


About WhiteElephantInTheRoom

I'm an 80s music lover, traveling junkie, mac & cheese connoisseur, amateur wine snob, party-planning priestess and Chicago transplant living in Southern California. I find adventure in the everyday and have a unending compulsion to write about it. Hope you enjoy reading my mind!
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15 Responses to Voice of Unreason: No, I’ve Never Seen The Godfather

  1. andy says:

    From my experience, it’s typically the BF’s role to introduce the girl to such features. Clearly your past BFs have not been doing their job properly.

  2. Melissa O'Connor says:

    I’ve never seen The Godfather either. 🙂 So I always get the same response.

  3. Quinnzite says:

    Despite the fact that I’ve seen all three of the Godfather films repeatedly, after reading this I’m determined to pretend that I’ve never even seen a poster for them, just to get that hilarious response :L Thanks for the inspiration!

    • LOL I love this idea! You need to report back on how this experiment goes 🙂

      • Quinnzite says:

        Well, I can happily report that so far, I’ve received over a dozen wide-eyed looks of incredulity, five looks of partial disgust, four awkward chuckles from people who assumed that I was kidding, and one phone number as well as quick kiss on the cheek from a girl I got chatting to in a cafe!
        Again, thank you very much for the inspiration, you’re blog has indirectly provided me with company this Saturday night!

  4. Lester Crews says:

    If you are a movie lover you might want to watch this movie, it contains all the components of a real movie. They used to make those back then, drama, love, tragedy and triumph. “So out of respect” (in my Godfather voice) “you should spend time with the Family”

  5. nancyfrancis says:

    Nope – haven’t seen it either. Nor ANY of the Star Wars movies, or the bloody Lord of the Rings nonesense.

    I relish the retort 😉

  6. yvan165 says:

    Haven’t watched it either, but I read the book (the first, the original, by Mario Puzo), and it’s awesome. I once started watching the movie, couldn’t go as far as 10 minutes… But I agree with Lester Crews, it definitely is a cinema standard.

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  9. keya82 says:

    My boyfriend made me watch the entire set. I thought it was ok but seriously don’t get the hype.

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