I went to Trader Joe’s last night to get some milk and eggs, and gluttonous me ended up walking out with $80 worth of other homegrown-organic-cage-free-whole-grain nonsense I didn’t need… stupid end caps. As I began putting away my wonderfully unnecessary finds, I stared at this jumbo package of zucchini and wished I hadn’t bought them. The eight bottles of wine didn’t faze me, but the three dollars I spent on these veggies that would surely sit in my fridge for two weeks and then get tossed was really causing me some agony. Will I one day be sitting across from a car dealer telling me he can’t knock the price of my coveted Lexus down three dollars? And if he does, will I ignore the time-share I got suckered into when I was twenty-four or the dozens of “disposable” dresses I’ve bought for Vegas over the years and actually think “if only I hadn’t bought that damn package of pre-washed vacuum-sealed zucchini”?
Hopefully not, but I realize my tendency to be overzealous creates a feeling akin to “buyer’s remorse” for just about everything. Why did I RSVP for Fluffy’s first birthday party? Do I really need two cookies for the price of one? Will I ever watch this DVD when I have fifty-eight sitting at home in plastic? Should I have had that last glass of Pinot? Since I already had that last glass should I just finish the bottle?
I sometimes feel I live a life of excess, which I’m generally ok with, but now and then the little virtuous angel on my right shoulder squashes the way more fun one on my left with unwanted twinges of guilt and reason. Maybe that’s the difference between being gluttonous and simply a wee bit greedy… at least I still think twice.
Not sure if that’s redemption, but I’m also not sure I care. Plus, there are still those five other sins to contend with: Pride? It’s my middle name. Lust? Check. Envy? I’d rather break a couple commandments than admit to this one. Sloth? There’s a sloth-sized dent in my couch to prove it. Wrath? Not so much. Guess there’s still hope.
So perhaps I’ll avoid a permanent residence in hell, but I am well on my way to a timeshare.