People are Flakes

Let me preface by saying I am guilty of most of the crimes of which I’m about to complain, so take me with a grain of salt.

A good friend of mine had made casual plans with another friend for New Year’s Eve, but at the last minute my friend received a more solid (aka “better”) offer. While her original plans were nothing more than a “hey call me if you feel up to going out Friday night,” the casual planner felt abandoned. I give my friend a free pass on this one – particularly since I wasn’t on the receiving end of the jilt – but it got me thinking… why are people such flakes?

Why do we commit, agree, RSVP, or even suggest an outing when we there’s a solid chance we’d rather be washing our hair when the date comes? On the flip side, why have we all thrown carefully planned get-togethers with extra food, made reservations with empty seats, and driven twenty miles across town with nobody to meet us on the other side?

None of us are strangers to the excuses. I have friends who shouldn’t be granted health insurance for how often they’ve been “sick.” And social media and smartphones have paved the long road from having to make a live apology to simply sending a canned text at the eleventh hour. The have-so-much-to-do-around-the-houses and the gotta-get-upearlies are simply fancy ways of saying, “I just don’t wanna.”

So perhaps we just accept and embrace the flakiness. We can make our parties pot lucks and set our dinner reservations a few seats short. And since we don’t have much control over those other flakers, maybe we set the example when making commitments of our own.

My brutally honest best friend Shannon taught me some wonderfully un-flaky phrases that get the job done. Try one next time a potential New Year’s Eve plan sounds a tad unappealing:

1) I doubt I’m going to make it, but I’ll call you if I change my mind
2) I’d rather take it easy this weekend
3) That sounds like an evening of boredom. Count me out.
4) Nah

How do you politely flake?

About WhiteElephantInTheRoom

I'm an 80s music lover, traveling junkie, mac & cheese connoisseur, amateur wine snob, party-planning priestess and Chicago transplant living in Southern California. I find adventure in the everyday and have a unending compulsion to write about it. Hope you enjoy reading my mind!
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5 Responses to People are Flakes

  1. ChrisB says:

    Hey Beth,

    I havent read any of your insightful blogging in quite some time. So long in fact that I think Myspace was the dominant social media at the time. I’m guilty of the last minute rejection, and have been on the receiving end as well. Sometimes after seeing the pictures from the evening I decided to opt out of I am glad that I did. Other times I can see where what was a boring night for me would have just ended up as two or more people being bored together. And other times theres the ones where you opt out of and hear about the next day and go “Damn I really should have gone”, but in my experience those are usually few and far between. I think we do it just to not hurt the other persons feelings, but as it approaches and the event begins to take shape, sometimes self preservation wins out.

  2. Danielle G says:

    My husband Brad was born and raised in Ohio, and he and his brother swear that Californians are the flakiest people on earth. For some reason, we have a hard time just saying, “no.” We like to keep it open-ended, and make everybody, including ourselves, miserable in the long run. So stupid! I have a friend that ends almost every phone conversation with, “I’ll call you back.” No, you’re not going to call me back, we’re finished talking. Just end it already. haha

  3. Its easy for the to say No!
    Nice Post 🙂

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